According to spokeshole John Kirby, the State Department (and, by extension, Secretary of State John Kerry; and, by extension, President Barack Obama) considers the current situation in Syria a “success.” Perhaps they’re working with a different dictionary down in Foggy Bottom; but the last time I checked, “shooting war involving more than two countries on at least three sides” was as high on the alternative-definitions list for “success” as “bunch of inbred islamofascist wackos” is for “caliphate.”
Of course, the laughably optimistic estimation of the conflagration in Syria didn’t actually fall out of Kerry’s or Obama’s own faceholes. Obama is busy working on his short game, and Kerry couldn’t convincingly order dinner at a drive-thru window. Thus, a State Department flack, Kirby, got stuck with the task of selling America the idea that not only is a total breakdown of basic order in one of the world’s oldest civilizations worth the nearly 10 figures we’ve already sunk into it, but so is sinking close to 10 figures into ISIS’s ascendancy. And Kirby may not have done a good job, but he certainly did an interesting one.
In a post to the State Department’s official blog, which runs under the way-too-perfect header “DipNote,” Kirby didn’t just rest on his borderline-insane claim that “[o]ur diplomats have been busy, and they have met with significant success across a range of issues.” The poor sap actually ticked off a list of items that the foreign-policy wing of the Obama administration considers worthy of a gold star. He even headed each entry with the Twitter-friendly “#2015In5Words” because the cats who work for Kerry are super hip with the interwebz; omg!
“Diplomatic Relations Re-established With Cuba. #2015in5words”
Having seen firsthand what economic embargoes tend to do to the already-suffering people of countries that end up on the business end of a global money strike, I’m generally averse to the kind of diplomatic isolation that we forced on Cuba. So I’ll grant that lifting said embargo represented a forward step. But Obama choreographed one step forward and then two steps back. Cuba, one of the last of the old-line communist dictatorships, gave up precisely nothing in return for Obama’s largesse. Raul Castro remains the billionaire ruler of a grossly oppressed country full of people who risk prison if they don’t toe his line. And we get to reopen our embassy there. Yippee.
“Winning Fight Against Violent Extremists. #2015in5words”
Back in February, Obama hosted the White House Summit on Countering Violent Extremism. Since then, neither violence nor extremism has abated. I know the Democrats have convinced themselves that white conservatives with firearms are the biggest threat to humanity since the Black Death, but the reality is that facism/statism and islamofascism are the real champs in that weight class. Granted, the globalists can’t hold an antifascism conference, since that would require far too much introspection. We already know that they can’t bring themselves to say “Islamic” and “violence” in the same sentence. And virtually every pronouncement Obama has made on the topic of ISIS/ISIL has been as off the mark as Kerry’s 2004 presidential bid. These guys understand “winning” as well as they understand “success.”
“Protecting Arctic Climate and Communities. #2015in5words,” “Protecting Health of Our Ocean. #2015in5words,” “Strongest Climate Agreement Ever Negotiated. #2015in5words”
Blah, blah, blah, “global warming,” blah blah blah. Whatever.
“Iran Peaceful Nuclear Program Ensured. #2015in5words”
You know who agrees that the deal Obama struck with Iran over its nuclear-weapons development program is a “good” deal? Iran does. Although the agreement is so toothless the Iranians would need to be inventive in order to actually run afoul of it, we are talking about the Iranians. The world’s proudest funders of islamofascist terrorism set about to openly flouting the terms of the bargain before Obama could promise they wouldn’t. Congratulations, I guess.
“Stemming Tide of Ebola Outbreak. #2015in5words”
Remember back in 2014 when that disease wandered across the pond from Africa and touched off a bit of a panic, which the Obama Administration then mishandled like they were new to having thumbs? Among the State Department’s many “successes” in 2015 is a failure which occurred in 2014.
“Committing to Ambitious Development Goals. #2015in5words”
Translated: “Among our many accomplishments in 2015: our promise to accomplish stuff in 2016.” Imagine how you’d react if your kid not only told you they got an “A” on an exam they haven’t taken yet; but was absolutely convinced they deserved your praise for it. Now imagine that same kid is in charge of presenting America’s positions to the world. Holy cow.
“Open Door to Free Trade. #2015in5words”
Obama and his cronies negotiated a multinational trade agreement after secret negotiations to which the majority of Congress and the American people were not privy. The only thing bipartisan about it is the criticism it has engendered, bringing together such disparate allies as Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) and Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). But Comcast and the Motion Picture Association of America, who DID contribute to the negotiations, think it’s just peachy.
“Bringing Peace, Security to Syria. #2015in5words”
Joining “success” on the list of words Obama defines differently than the rest of humanity: “peace” and “security.”
If I’d had as bad a year as the State Department, I’d probably avoid drawing deliberate attention to it through an official blog post. Of course, Kirby and his fellow state-oids are members of the same administration that continues to give itself medals for Obamacare’s lowering of the uninsured rate — as if defrauding people at gunpoint is something for which medals ought to be awarded.
To these guys, the State Department had a terrific year, filled from Countering Violent Extremism Summits to San Bernardino, California, with “success.” It’s just that they define “success” somewhat differently than the rest of the species. And that might nothing more than fodder for a sharp-witted columnist with looks of a matinee idol, except that these same guys who say “success” where you’d say “catastrophe of near-biblical proportions” clearly don’t speak your language; but they do speak for you.